The Flack


Hipstergeddon – the Best Tweets

Posted July 9, 2013 by Mina Durack in Pop
We will rebuild

Last night, the Northern suburbs of Melbourne lost power for around six hours. While temperatures dropped inside hipster homes, people took to their iPhones to tweet the horror. Here’s a selection of the best tweets from Hipstergeddon.

The height of the drama

Richard Watts @richardthewatts: Meanwhile, in Northcote & Brunswick, men have begun burning their beards for light and warmth. #hipstergeddon

Declan Fay @declanf: During the Brunswick #blackout hipsters huddle for warmth around a single iPad. There is only 3% battery left. #hipstergeddon

Declan Fay @declanf: They discover the taco truck doesn’t have gluten free taco shells. Within seconds, it is tipped over and set on fire. #hipstergeddon

Van Badham @vanbadham: OMG WHAT INSTA FILTER DO YOU USE IN A BLACKOUT?! #hipstergeddon

Sometimes Melbourne @SometimesMelb: #hipstergeddon Your iPhones may be dying but you can’t possibly have run out of IKEA tea light candles.

Mavrick @mavrickau: #hipstergeddon  – Time to activate the almonds.  #northcote

Joey JoJo Jr Shabado @Straffo: It’s quiet now, #hipstergeddon. This is merely while they fashion their flat iPhones & iPads into crude weapons to use in the coming attack.

Lol @wordhappylol: Craft beer runs scarily low on shelves of @blackheartswine as @86tram passengers stock up to remain #sohungover #hipstergeddon @beddyphil

Myf Clark @myfala: To pass the time, I am necking red wine from the bottle whilst listening to the dulcet tones of stuck train crossing barriers #hipstergeddon

Peter Edmonds @termx: “I felt a great disturbance in the Force.. as if millions of iPhone batteries suddenly died out and were suddenly silenced.” #hipstergeddon

Roderick Poole @roddlesp: Is that a torch in your pocket or are you just glad not to see me? #hipstergeddon

Troy Wheatley @troywheatley: All across NE Melbourne there is the humming of Arcade Fire’s ‘Power Out’ #hipstergeddon

Johan @johanson_anders: Melbourne Bitter stubbies are now an accepted currency in Thornbury’s new barter economy. #hipstergeddon

Johan @johanson_anders: Is it raining soy-substitute blood yet in Thornbury? #hipstergeddon

Solutions

John K @JohnKachoyan: Will white truffle oil work in my old-time hurricane lantern? #hipstergeddon

amy hill @achillly: In times of crisis like this I am thankful for my many ‘display’ candles #hipstergeddon

Jessie Taylor @taylor_jessie: #Hipstergeddon: where the smug joy of owning a fairtrade aluminiumfree stovetop retro whistling kettle is outweighed only by its usefulness.

Q and A

Mike Nicholson @Mikey_Nicholson: How could #hipstergeddon happen the same night as @TurnbullMalcolm is on #qanda?!? THE TERRORISTS HAVE WON.

AlBay @AlisterBayston: If #qanda is broadcast but Northcote is in #blackout, does anybody see it? #hipstergeddon #ifatreefalls

Declan Fay @declanf: Northern suburbs filled with high pitched desperate screams, as residents cry their #qanda tweets into darkness. #hipstergeddon

People just want to help

Ewen at Large @ewster: Emergency barista station has been setup in Yarraville for residents affected by #hipstergeddon. BYO soy milk. Nah just kidding, sod off.

The Broom Wagon @broomwagonblog: Free sailor tattoo for every man woman or child sporting a waxed moustache & horizontal blue/white striped long sleeve shirt #hipstergeddon

Gordon Knight @KankiKnight: Knog lights being distributed to yarn bombers to keep their crucial work going #hipstergeddon

Lol @wordhappylol: Relief for #hipstergeddon victims as free replacement beanies are handed out at a secret pop-up laneway location

Timothy Zeven @Zevensoft: I let my iPhone battery die as a sign of solidarity to those in Northcote #hipstergeddon

Alli Campbell @CampbellAlli: Hipsters attempting to cross the blackout border. Met by placards reading “GO BACK TO WHERE YOU CAME FROM” #hipstergeddon

The aftermath

Lol @wordhappylol: Party in the laneways as #hipstergeddon is avoided & power to the bearded ones restored. Instagram goes wild with pics of iPads back on.

Tim Anders @timjanders: Tue-Workers shocked by pleasant nature of Brunswick colleagues who had nothing to do but get laid and go to sleep by 11pm. #hipstergeddon

Hardcore Commuter @HardcoreCommute: You know what happens 9 months after blackouts ! Deluge of Tarquins and Jemimas in the birth centres #hipstergeddon

Hardcore Commuter @HardcoreCommute: Hopefully shops stocking up on Nepalese Yak hair swaddling cloths for the inevitable hipster baby boom in 9 months #blackout  #hipstergeddon

Gerard McCulloch @DrJavaBeans: Sad news. Pinterest has recorded a 70% drop in craft-related pins in the past 6 hours. Just another victim of #hipstergeddon.

Wayne Gibbings @wayneoau: Hope the Brunswick maternity hospitals have enough fixie parking ready for April 9th, 2014 #hipstergeddon

Losing hope

Marc Clancy @clangaz: iPhone battery 2% If I don’t make it through the night tell my naturopath I love him. #hipstergeddon

Benjamin Solah @benjaminsolah: iPhone nearly dead. Don’t think I’ll make it. Promise to publish my zine about fixies posthumously #hipstergeddon

Joseph Miller @joffotron: My brothers and sisters still in the grip of the #hipstergeddon, as your batteries die, your voices may be silent but you are not forgotten.

It’s all just too.

Joey JoJo Jr Shabado @Straffo: “This blackout isn’t as good as they used to be. It’s all different. And too many people are into it now.” #hipstergeddon

Richard Watts @richardthewatts: “Of course, the blackouts they had during the Second World War were so much more… primal,” Eloise pontificates. #hipstergeddon

Stop It I Love It @StopItILoveIt: The power is actually back on but hipsters aren’t using it because electricity is awfully mainstream these days, yeah? #hipstergeddon

Nick @nick__nobody: #hipstergeddon jokes are so mainstream now, it doesn’t count if you didn’t use pedal power lights to tweet it

Gordon Knight @KankiKnight: Of course, I was doing #hipstergeddon jokes in the late 90s before they went mainstream #hipstergeddon

Stop It I Love It @StopItILoveIt: Hipsters declare Citipower’s old stuff was so much better than their new stuff. #hipstergeddon

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About the Author

Mina Durack
Mina Durack

Wilhemina (Mina) Durack was born in Lithgow, NSW to Henry and Shirley who, in the absence of sons, forced her into the family business. She became an apprentice blacksmith at the age of 15 but her true passion was Cheese Rolling at which she longed to turn professional. She trained secretly in the Blue Mountains. Despite her parents entering her in the Lithgow St George's Day International Jousting Tournament, she ran away to Gloucester, England where she entered The Cooper's Hill Cheese-Rolling and Wake, coming twelfth in 1995 and third in 1996. She struggled to break into the cheese rolling speakers’ circuit and eventually resettled in Fitzroy, Melbourne where she lives with her husband Fred, offering a boutique cheese advisory service. She collects vintage swimsuits and is an avid swimmer and online shopper.


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