The Flack


The Flack’s Celebrity AFL Footy Tipping competition – Week 9

Posted May 30, 2013 by Flack Guest in Sport
Footy tipping

Footy tipping as we know it is dead folks. Wanna know what killed it?

Well, we will tell you.

The rule that people who don’t put in tips get given the away teams. Last week two people did not put in tips. Two people got away teams. And two people got 7.

Second closest was Roy Masters with 5. Roy is from NSW and doesn’t know what he is doing.

Anyway the offenders, one time Flack writer, Prefontaine, and radical feminist, Valarie Solanas, are still a way off the pace but seemingly close fast.

Oh, and Roy Masters is even with Grant Thomas at the top of the ladder. But who the hell really cares anymore…

Let’s get this over with. To the ladder:

Grant Thomas (Got three last week. Idiot.) 56
Roy Masters (League man. Joint leader. God help us.) 56
Tony Abbott (Got 4 last week. His polling numbers are a lot better than that.) 51
Terry Wallace (Got 4 as well. Probably about right for him all in all.) 49
Valarie Solanas (Whatever) 41
Prefontaine (Double whatever) 41
Tom Waterhouse (We think he is trying to get them wrong. He got 3. Not too bad.) 28

To the tips:

Tony Abbott

This tipping contest fails to reward hard work. It’s socialism.

We have two people being afforded support that they simply do not deserve. What sort of that message does that send to Australians?

“Don’t worry about it folks, even if you don’t make an effort we will continue to prop you up, no questions asked”.

There’s a word for that and it’s the one I once used to describe climate change.

Come September we will put this right.

In the meantime…

Collingwood will beat Brisbane.

Carlton will be way to good for GWS.

Adelaide vs Freo is a hard one. But I am going with Adelaide.

Swans will defeat the Bombers. While on the Bombers, Peter, please stop talking.

Geelong vs Gold Coast. Geelong, obviously.

Bulldogs vs Port. Port will bring Julia down to earth like a Newspoll.

Melbourne vs Hawthorn. Hawthorn, obviously.

North vs St Kilda could go either way, but North should be able to win this.

West Coast vs Richmond is a no brainer. Eagles.

Roy Masters

Can someone run that ladder past me again?

For all the scrutiny, devotion and so called expertise of this esteemed panel, Roy is sticking this competition right up your ridiculously deficient, sleeveless jumpers.

Might I add, for all the ‘away tip’ controversy, this old Leaguey’s momentum remains undeterred.

Indeed, one could argue the farce of rewarding for non-selections is simply a by-product of this nonsensical code that endeared you lot in the first place.

From the very little I have witnessed, your  game is merely anarchy with a football. It is therefore without suprise this competition reflects same. Perhaps it is only I noticing the irony in the conjecture surrounding the outcomes of this tipping competition.

Of pertinence the organisers at The Flack ought to consider, how is it feasible to support an ‘away’ and a ‘home’ concept when Victorian teams are playing at just the two venues ?

Preposterous!

Here’s the winners:

NSW Blues to beat QLD

Collingwood, Carlton, Fremantle, Sydney, Geelong, Port Adelaide, Hawthorn, North Melbourne, West Coast.

One bonus tip – sew on some sleeves

Roy Masters AM

Grant Thomas

Well, the football gods are angry. And now I know what it means to play for Melbourne. A complete lack of effort combined with some of the most ridiculous results in the history of professional sport left me with only three tips. Well, I think I just moved on.

Note to all, especially Masters, you don’t win a competition in May. Time to take the handbrake off and crush you all with my insight into this game. You don’t deserve me, but here it is.

Collingwood. Hopefully there is no racism this week.

Carlton will beat the shark that the AFL jumped

Fremantle will suck the life out of the game in Adelaide.

Sydney will beat Essendon. They are pretenders.

There is no way that Gold Coast will beat Geelong.

The Bulldogs and Port challenges my interest in the code. It will be a dull encounter. Port Adelaide will win and no one will remember it.

Hawthorn will underline why this opponent should hereafter be known as ‘the bye’. Insipid.

North Melbourne must win, they simply must.

West Coast will win.

I have spoken. Form is temporary, class is permanent, beauty is only skin deep and crazy goes all the way to the bone. Think on it and improve thyself.

Terry Wallace

Four tips. Coming fourth. Just out of the medals. Terry takes no comfort from this position. Make no mistake, Terry is coming. Terry has a five round plan for getting back to the top of the ladder. Here are Terry’s tips. You’re welcome.

Brisbane vs Collingwood: Collingwood will win and Vossy will be in more trouble than the early settlers. Terry hopes his job comes up before Neeldy’s job.

Carlton vs GWS: Carlton by plenty. Terry might be moving to Sydney next week. Look out Leon Cameron, Terry owns you.

Adelaide vs Fremantle: Fremantle will win, football will not.

Sydney vs Essendon: Sydney by a bit. But irrelevant. Bombers will hand back their points at the end of the season and there will be a head coach vacancy at Windy Hill.

Geelong vs Gold Coast: Geelong will fall over the line. Bluey is looking more secure though.

Western Bulldogs vs Port Adelaide: Bulldogs to win two in a row.

Melbourne vs Hawthorn: Why don’t we just give both clubs the day off? Hawthorn will win by a million goals. Terry doesn’t want to see that. Terry does not want to be Dees coach.

North Melbourne vs St Kilda: North by 5 goals. St Kilda needs an experienced coach with vision and a five year plan. Terry’s mobile is on. You can tweet Terry @thelistmanager

West Coast vs Richmond: West Coast. It saddens Terry how his legacy at Richmond is being trashed. They’re not even giving Tambling a game, and he was drafted ahead of Lance Franklin.

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