The Flack

An Almost Accurate Press Conference with Majak Daw

Posted May 20, 2013 by Titus in Regular Items

North Melbourne rookie Majak Daw has drawn enormous media attention since beginning his AFL career. Here’s an example of a Majak Daw press conference.

Reporter: Majak, disappointing loss tonight and for you personally being subbed off in the third quarter.

Majak: Yeah, very disappointing. The boys gave it everything but we fell just a bit short.

Reporter: Majak, Nic Naitanui kicked the winning goal. Obviously there are a lot of similarities between the two of you.

Majak: Well we’re both young players I guess. We sort of play different positions, though. Nic’s a really great guy.

Reporter: Yeah but you are similar, right? Similar backgrounds?

Majak: Well I’m from Sudan in Africa and my family fled civil war there, firstly to Egypt before coming here. Nic was actually born in Penrith but his family is from Fiji.

Fiji and Sudan have a few minor differences between them that might go unnoticed to the casual observer. For instance, Fiji is an island in the South Pacific while Sudan is a war torn state in North Africa and bordering the Middle East.

Reporter: Wow, Majak you are really articulate. Is everyone so articulate in Africa?

Majak: Well Africa is an enormous continent with over a billion people so it’s a bit hard to vouch for how well spoken everyone is. That said, out of a billion there’d be a few you’d think, wouldn’t you? Any more questions about the footy?

Herald Sun: You have an amazing body.

Majak: Ok.

Herald Sun: No seriously. We’ve been running stories and pictures about it.

Majak: Thanks.

Reporter: Majak, can I just check something you said earlier? Fiji isn’t in Africa?

Majak: No. Seriously? It’s in the South Pacific.

Reporter: Majak, much of Australia’s understanding of Sudan is from movies such as Black Hawk Down, do you want to educate people about the real Sudan?

Majak: I sure do. Starting with the fact Black Hawk Down is set in Somalia.

Reporter: So just to clarify, you didn’t know Nic before the AFL?

Majak: Ok, I think this conference is over unless there are any football questions.

Herald Sun: Sometimes when I’m alone, I think about your body.

Majak: Ok. Thanks guys.

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About the Author


Writer, political agitator and broadcaster, Titus O’Reily was born in May 1962. Abandoned by his parents within hours of his birth, Titus was raised by the Sisters of Collective Misery. Titus has risen to folk hero status amongst Australians due to his long running campaigns to lower the drinking age and prevent anyone entering Australia, including Australians returning from holidays. Titus is known as ‘the voice of Australia’s working class’, despite the fact he long lost touch with them and in the main, reality. He currently lives on a large farm with three sisters while writing for The Flack.


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